1) Be mindful of a lady who does not have a relationship with God, who does not have any desire to build one; she should be avoided, unless you too do not have a relationship...

1) Be mindful of a lady who does not have a relationship with God, who does not have any desire to build one; she should be avoided, unless you too do not have a relationship with Him. A woman who loves and respects the Lord will love and respect you in obedience to the Lord! She will support you spiritually through prayers and will encourage you with the word when you are down and out. She will be there to teach your children the way of the Lord. She is a home builder and not a home breaker!

2) Never get married to a woman who finds it difficult to respect her father, elder brother or anyone that represents a male-figure; she will really find it tough submitting to you. Do not forget; men perceive respect as a proof of love and it is in their nature to value and love someone that respects them. A good woman is submissive to her husband not necessarily because he deserves it but because it is her nature to do so and because God commands it.

3) Watch for a woman who is teachable, flexible and humble. An arrogant, stubborn and rigid woman is predisposed to building a bad marriage; go for her if you want a woman who will give you trouble at home. The willingness to learn is an important factor that can make any woman become better with time no matter how crude, immature or incompatible she is with you. Flexible people adapt to change and change is consistent in any marital relationship.

4) Be weary of a lady who has perfected the art of deception. She can pretend to be an angel, to love you at all cost and do everything possible to entice you and when you are married, she will reveal her true nature. When a woman is nice to a fault, everything you do or say is right, she never gets angry no matter how you treat her or what happens, I bet you, she isn't real or genuine. Some ladies behave this way because they are desperate to be married, because of poor self image or for what they will gain from the relationship e.g Money. You need to marry a woman who is so genuine that you will love her for who she is, loving her in her best and worse state. However, pretense will never lead to a lasting marital commitment rather it will result to a dysfunctional relationship.

5) Never marry a woman who loves you for your money, family background, and social status. The reason is simple;(God Forbids) when your money is gone and all your wealth is gone, she will either abandon you or she will give you a hell of trouble by nagging you to death. Money has wings and can fly away and fly back but true love endures forever.

Secondly, marriage is about the two of you alone and you will make it happen based on your character and behaviour. It is not about your extended family name and your social status.

6). Any woman who is very lazy and wants a man to provide EVERYthing for her is not worth being married to. A woman, who is always asking for money, for clothes, for call card, always demanding money and material things from you no matter how much you give, should be avoided. A woman should be self-reliant; industrious and financially independent to an extent. There is nothing wrong with requesting financial assistance and gifts from someone you love and want to be married to, however when such an act becomes a burden, a demand, a consistent pattern, it is no longer an expression of love but a mere act done to fulfil an obligation. I have observed that most women who genuinely love their men think of how to support them and not to rip them off. They are always looking for ways to support you and build you up and not to grab from you.

7) Never get married to a woman who hardly tells the truth, who has a tendency to steal out of greed or any other reason; she may steal from you or from others one day and cause you a lifetime embarrassment.It will be difficult to vouch for or trust a liar. I heard a story of a wedding that was called off in Nigeria because, at night before the wedding, the lady who was about to wed stole some jewelry e which was bought by her fiancé’s mother for her daughter. When they started searching for the expensive jewelries es, no one agreed to have found them; the lady also denied setting her eyes on them; but in the course of the search, it was found in her sister’s box. After much interrogation, the sister confessed that she was the one who asked her to hide them.That was how a wedding involving a young man based in the US with his family and this beautiful but dishonest lady was annulled. Anyone who has the propensity to tell lies without remorse also has the tendency to steal. May God open your eyes to see clearly!

8. Be wary of a woman who has unrealistic expectations from you as she expects you to make up for the emotional emptiness of her childhood created by an absent or unloving father. A husband cannot parent his wife, it is the role of her father; he can only parent his own children. Only God can be a father to the fatherless or a mother to the motherless. Marry a woman who is whole and mature who does not need to depend on any man for her sense of fulfillment in life but on God.

9) Never get married to a lady who cannot delay gratification. She always wants to buy more clothes, some more jewelries, some more shoes, a shopping freak who hardly saves money. Unless you are as rich as Bill Gate or Warren Buffet, it might be burdensome coping with her. Furthermore, avoid getting married to a lady who cannot control her sexual desire and does not place any value on her body. A virtuous woman will not want you to go all the way before marriage because she knows how to control her emotions and she exercises restraint on spending.

10) Avoid any lady who does not love your friends and family members; she does not allow you to keep in touch with friends and relatives except hers. A good lady has a large heart and would be willing to accommodate others. Marriage does not mean isolation from family but rather an integration of a nuclear family into an extended family.

There are many other factors that can help you spot a wrong lady but above all, find a woman who loves God more than you or anyone else. Her love for God will bring out the best in her and enable her love you unreservedly because she knows that being the best for you pleases God. When looking for a wife, focus on finding a woman who has the traits of a virtuous woman as listed below. However, remember that it is important to become a MR RIGHT before you go looking for a MRS RIGHT. Perfection is not a human attribute.

What the bible says about the qualities of a Great Wife.

~ A wife of noble character who can find? 

~ She is worth far more than rubies.

~ Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 

~ She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

~ She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 

~ She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

~ She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

~ She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 

~ She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 

~ She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the staff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

~ She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has to fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 

~ She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 

~ She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 

~ She is clothed with strength and dignity she can laugh at the days to come.

~ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 

~ She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

~ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honour her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. PROVERBS 31:10-31. 

May God grant you the grace to discover the right mate!